Emotional Healing: Getting to the Root

When we bought our house in 2019, we were really excited that there were two orange trees in the backyard. The thoughts of smelling sweet orange blossoms in early spring and eating juicy ripe oranges in early winter was a huge paradigm shift for us. We'd always lived in the Midwest where nothing grows in the winter, so the idea of winter being a growing and harvesting season was intriguing to us. We couldn't wait to see what the trees would produce!

During our first spring in Arizona, one of those trees was filled with the sweetest smelling blossoms, and then around Thanksgiving, we started harvesting oranges, just like the little "Cuties" in the grocery store. They were so juicy and delicious! But the other orange tree produced nothing. It had no blossoms that spring nor fruit that winter. Nor did it have any blossoms or fruit the following year. 

I wondered why one tree produced blossoms and oranges but not the other, so I did some research to find out what could be wrong with our orange tree. I was told it had probably gone back to "wild root stock," and if it had, then it would never produce fruit again. But if it did happen to give us some fruit, it would be so sour it would be inedible. Disappointing! 

Not willing to accept that, we hired a tree service to evaluate the health of our orange tree, and they recommended fertilizing both of them. They said Citrus trees need to be fertilized around Valentine's Day, Memorial Day, and Labor Day. They treated our trees that Labor Day and three times the next year What a delight to see that the efforts were successful! That orange tree was full of blossoms the next spring, and we were able to eat sweet oranges that were ready for harvest right about the time the other orange tree was finished producing its fruit. So, that year, we were able to go outside and pick oranges off our trees for breakfast for almost 6 months! 

The only problem with all of this was that the fertilizer used by the tree service was not organic, and they could not provide that. We preferred organic fertilizer, so we decided to take on the job ourselves, starting with the next Valentine's Day feeding. We visited a citrus orchard and were instructed to dig some holes around the edge of the tree and pour in a certain amount of organic fertilizer, and then cover up the holes with dirt and water the tree. We followed those directions, but nothing happened. Again, there were no blossoms that spring, so no new oranges grew either. 

On the third application of fertilizer that year, though, we discovered something we hadn't noticed on the Valentine's Day and Memorial Day applications. Apparently to keep the weeds from growing around the tree, a former owner of the house had put two layers of black plastic all around the tree under a layer of gravel and a thick layer of dirt underneath that. The holes we had dug for the first two applications were not deep enough. They did not go below the plastic, so the fertilizer had not gotten down to the roots The tree service had equipment that allowed the fertilizer to go down to the roots, but we didn't, so that was why the tree produced fruit following their applications of fertilizer but not ours. 

As I was out in the yard attempting to dig deeper holes to get underneath the plastic for the Labor Day application of fertilizer, it suddenly occurred to me that it's the same with emotional healing. You can do a lot of things to help yourself feel better - positive affirmations, physical exercise, eat healthy, take food supplements, do a Vision Board, even do "talk therapy" - all beneficial things, but what positives you are feeding yourself need to get down to the "root." 

Emotional healing requires that we go below the surface and get to the deeper places of pain that we carry, and we all have them! None of us made it to adulthood without experiencing some things that left a negative imprint on our heart and mind. Those things can have an impact of our lives even years later - on our sense of self-worth, our interactions with others, our parenting, the jobs we take and how successful or fulfilled we are in them, on our level of happiness and life satisfaction, and even in our ability to make a spiritual connection.

What acts as the "fertilizer" for emotional healing? Taking kindness, nurture, encouragement, love, protection, and truth back into those memories where negative beliefs got planted about ourselves, other people, the world, and about God. Wherever those negative beliefs are, those are places where anxiety or worry, hurt or sadness, insecurity or shame, and anger or resentment started to grow. These positives are what need to get down to the roots of who we are, underneath the ways we have learned to protect ourselves, where we have learned to pretend or hide.

And what serves as the "plastic" that blocks the fertilizer from getting to the roots? Fear and shame are big obstacles. Also, whatever we use, or whatever we have latched onto or erected in our lives to help ourselves feel significant, valued, protected, and to have a sense of belonging can get in the way. While whatever helps us numb out or not feel the pain in those memories might help us feel ok for a little while, it doesn't really fix any problem, and in the long run, can even make things worse. 

So, what painful memories are at the root in your life that you would like to avoid remembering? What beliefs interfere with you "blooming and producing healthy fruit" today? What holds you back from living the kind of life you most want to live?

What serves as the layer of "plastic" in your life that protects you from experiencing that pain today?

And what "fertilizer" do you need to apply to the roots to help you know and truly believe you belong, that you are worthy, valued, significant, and loved? 

While it's not a quick and easy process of getting to the root of whatever anxiety, sadness, insecurity, or resentment you are carrying, it's a life-changing, transformative one that can set you free to live with greater confidence, peace, love, and joy. Yes, it can feel like a difficult process, but in the long run, it's an adventure you don't want to miss.